Friday, 10 May 2019

Turning Twenty-Five


As you will probably be able to tell from the title of this post I recently turned 25. I don't know why but 25 feels like such a big number. Maybe it's because it's a quarter of a century but it feels so grown up. I had dabbled with idea of having a big 25th birthday party but with my health being as bad as it is I think I made the right decision to take a week off in Scotland instead. 


We had a wonderfully slow and relaxed week full of lots of treats. It was a week of celebrations with my birthday on the Monday, my mother in laws birthday on the Saturday and Easter Day on the Sunday. We ate, and drank (yes I actually drank alcohol on my bday, turning 25 must be getting to me!) and laughed lots. After an incredibly hard few months of my chronic pain getting worse and worse, moving house and the stress of what we will do if I'm not well enough to go back to work, we really needed this holiday. 


Seeing as I have now hit the wise old age of 25 I thought it would be interesting to share some of the things I feel I've learnt about life, particularly in the last few years. They say you change completely from the age of 18-25 and I think I would definitely have to agree. I've gone from a fast fashion clad Liverpool party girl living life at 100 miles an hour to a woman who enjoys slow and natural living, nature, knitting, buys only ethical and sustainable clothing and dreams of living in the countryside. I definitely prefer who I am now and have found my heart is much more full then it ever used to be. So here are the things I've learnt about life so far... 


1. Slow is always better - I've been forced to slow down over the years having suffered from mental health problems and now physical health problems. It's been hard but I can also see the huge benefits in taking time to actually enjoy life. I was always so stressed, so worried about getting everything done that I never took time to just be. Now my priority in life is taking time to be in the present and connect with the world around me. This time will go very quickly and you never know when it will change, it's very important to take the time to enjoy what you have now and not to always be looking to the future. 


2. Don't sweat the small stuff - I have my husband to thank for this one. When I first met him at the ripe old age of twenty I was a little stress ball. I grew up in a house where stressing over tiny details and fussing a lot was completely normal. I didn't know that life didn't need to be this way. My husband taught me to calm down completely. Instead of shrieking and jumping around grabbing tea towels when some one accidentally pours a drink on the table I can now just calmly deal with it. There is no need to get stressed over a drink being spilt, getting lost, breaking something e.t.c these things don't matter that much. And once I learnt not to get stressed by the small stuff I also learnt to deal with the bigger stuff better. I am able to take a step back and think, does this really matter? Is this really as big as I think it is? 

I'm definitely not perfect or an expert at this and I do still have a tendency to get anxious and stressed easily but the little I have learnt has helped an incredible amount, especially recently. Life is just too short to be stressed and worried. 


3. You don't need to have it all figured out - I read a statistic somewhere that our generation will change career eleven times in their life time. I don't know if this is true but I have certainly done my fair share of chopping and changing in just the last seven years never mind a lifetime. We get a lot of pressure from our culture to be completely sorted from day one. We are supposed to know exactly what we want to do, have a five year plan at all times, be at the top of our careers or at least on our way and never give ourselves times to wonder if we are actually happy. 

For a long time I thought this was normal. I threw myself into careers I didn't really want desperate to find something that worked for me. But the reality was it took years of different experiences to form some idea of who and what I wanted to be. I've changed completely since I was eighteen and I'm so glad I had the chance to explore many different jobs and different studies. It's made me who I am today and I can now go forward making informed decisions because of the experiences I've had. 

I still don't know what I'm going to do with my life. I have a vague idea and some hopes and dreams but I know I can still live a great life without having it all planned out. In September I will go back to studying part-time and I'm really excited. That's as figured out as I am at the moment and that's good enough for me.


4. It won't go to plan and that's okay - Following on from the previous point even if you do have it all planned out it won't necessarily go to plan. I spent two years trying to get my perfect job in a school library and when I finally did I was ecstatic. After only seven months I became so unwell I have had to be put on sick leave. I keep hoping I will be able to go back but as my health is at the moment we really have no idea when and if that will be possible. The plan I had had for years of becoming a school librarian surrounding by books everyday, teaching creative writing and inspiring young people to read and then spending my holidays writing my own books, has just gone out the window. 

You never know what is around the corner. It's good to have a plan, it's good to set yourself goals but it's important to remember it's okay if they don't all go exactly as you want. That's life and it would be very boring if we could plan and predict everything right now. Having ambitions are great but also having the flexibility to cope with life's changes is essential. 


5. Go with your gut - I struggled a lot in my early years of adulthood trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. I trusted other's opinions far too much and didn't trust myself enough. This resulted in two failed degrees. Looking back I always knew I wanted to go to university to study creative writing but it took me until I was 22 years old and independent from my parents to actually have the guts to do it. Obviously I am glad I hadn't done it from the get-go as I would never have met my husband and he is the best part of my life full stop. I wouldn't choose anything over him. But I do wish I'd been strong enough to trust my own instincts and trust that I knew what I wanted. 

Over the last few years, thanks to my husband being my biggest cheerleader, I have had the guts to go for things much more. I've trusted myself, my ideas and what I wanted and it has paid off. I've moved from quite a few jobs but managed to get some amazing experience. I know how hard it can be at times but I think you do just have to make a decision and jump in life. It may be ridiculously scary but life shouldn't be about taking the safe road, risks pay off and you will thank yourself later. 

My biggest piece of advice would be to trust yourself. Go with your gut and dive into life head first. None of us can see the future but we can make informed decisions knowing who we are and what we want. Just go for it. 

What I Wore:
Dress - People Tree | Shoes - Supergas | Sunglasses - Old

So there you have my five lessons learnt over the last seven years or so. I hope they are helpful to some of you and that I've encouraged you to go out and live the life you want. I'm by no means an expert and I will spend my life learning about who I am and what I want to do but for me that's the best way to live. Always learning, always improving, always living. 





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1 comment

  1. Aww happy belated birthday, sounds like you had a great time. I feel like things have really clicked for me in the second half of my 20's and I really excited to turn 27 in July. Sounds like you've leant so much!

    xoxo
    Jess
    The Crown Wings | UK Travel & Lifestyle Blog

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